Why?

 A father smiled and told me

I wish I killed my daughters first,

So they didn't have to see me kill their mother.

His hands were bleeding, from the tight cuffs

His face bloodied and eyes swollen 

It seems the police had a talk with him...

He smiled at me and said

When you do write about me

Please, tell them I killed myself: 

I don't deserve to live, not in anyone's mind.

It was a normal spring eve, in the hot sections of Giyani D

When a man, Zaza Maswanganye (33) called the police after failing to kill himself...

When the police arrived to his house unprepared for what he did not say...

"I almost shot him dead, right there and there."

Said S.Murena to SABC news.

If I look at you and your eyes are red

If I face your face and your face is pale,

If I say nothing, why are your tears falling?

We came here when the trees were full 

And the grass housed the things we didn't call home...

But we brought our smiles and birthed a haven

We had this poetry that almost scented our entire house

And this chemistry that almost burnt it to the ground 

So much elation pouring when your lips reached mine

And our first born gave life to me, 

a life I knew not it was dead.

Came our second, came our third

29 years it has been since the day told you

How beautiful this sun would be

"If your hand was the hand I'd hold in the park today"

And now you're staring at me

Lifeless and cold

I see how evil I misplaced the love I saw

I shot you without asking you 

Because I knew for a while now

I guess the smoke in my head couldn't blend with the liquid 

Or they did perfectly _ but 

I killed the kids too, I hope God forgives my weakness 

But I couldn't bare the years and felt like an ocean 

I tried to shoot myself, I'm more of a coward than I knew

I hope you find a way different from the one I threw.

I told a poet he should kill me in his writing 

I can't live forever in anyone's mind

... But I guess he never did, and this misery will last for eternity.

If I look at you and your eyes are red

If I face your face and your face is pale,

If I say nothing, why are your tears falling?

We came here when the trees were full 

And the grass housed the things we didn't call home...

You were the most beautiful girl I've ever seen

And though all was a lie, 

the life I've lived with you...